Mary Ann's Diaries -
Her Return And Marriage
We don't know why Mary Ann went to Nether Stowey, or how long she remained there, whether for a few months or a year or more, because the diary stops there and there is a gap of more than four years before the next scrap begins. Family lore says she worked in a shop at Nether Stowey. Was that to help the family budget or was it a sort of training ground for her marriage to James Bennetts Williams, who kept a grocer/post office business in St. Agnes? Or was she sent to Nether Stowey out of the way of some temptation?
The 1881 Census shows her now 20 and back at Vicarage with her parents, 14-year old brother Tom, her cousin Mary Ellen (now 18) and an eight-year old niece, Anita Thomas, almost certainly the child Mary Ann had 'led about' four years before. Thomas Henwood (38) was also living at Vicarage when the Census was taken, and Francis Whitley, MRCS, the doctor of family legend, is shown as a boarder.
It is only by chance that the two exercise books containing the fragments of Mary Ann's diaries were saved from destruction. The second, smaller book, in a more mature hand and with slightly fewer spelling mistakes, begins on 22nd April, 1882, with the saga of 'The Willie' already recorded, and there is no way of knowing whether she kept a diary in the intervening years.
The 21-year old Mary Ann, although still an assiduous attender at chapel and prayer meetings, is less obsessed with her sinfulness and redemption but very concerned about her 'uselessness' in the world.
"Friday, 28th April, 1882. Rough Weather. I went to Chapel this evening. Rev. R. Daw preached, St Mark 2ch and first twelve verses. How condemned I felt. What can I do for the cause of Christ? What shall I do? I am doing nothing. Am I always going to live such a useless life?" The verses from St. Mark tell the story of Christ healing the man who was sick of the palsy.
By this time Tom was away in Bristol, working for one of the new telephone companies, and 'an understanding', even if not an outright engagement, apparently existed between Mary Ann and James Bennetts Williams although it is inferred and never mentioned outright.
But the next week J.B.W. (as he was generally known, even by Mary Ann) contrived to offend Mary Ann very deeply. When visiting the Post Office to send a telegram about 'The Willie', Mary Ann's mother, Nancy, had learned some news about J.B.W's family.
"Wednesday, 3rd May. Mother went down to Post Office to send a Telegram to Mr. Brent and J.B.W. told her that he received a telegram from Bristol saying that Laura (his niece) is dead and for Miss Williams (J.B.W's unmarried sister) to come up. Miss W. left here at half past 12 o'clock. Mother sent £2 by her for Tom. Laura died of whooping cough and inflammation - their eldest child. The baby is very ill. I wrote J.B.W. a note this morning telling him that I would do anything I could for them, either at Beacon (home of J.B.W's parents) or Town. I am very glad they did not axcept my offer. After I wrote such a note he did not even take the trouble to answer it. I think he ought to have answered it. I felt it very much. I quite expected an answer. I don't know when I felt anything so much before. All the answer I got was that he very coldly said on Friday that he thanked me for my offer. I was disappointed very much. I could hardly believe he had the note. I went out on Thursday and asked the girl I gave the note to where she carried it down. It made me feel low spirited for days. I don't suppose J.B.W. thought it required an answer, but I thought it did.
Thursday, 4th May. I expected everybody that came up from Town had a note for me from J.B.W. What a silly girl I am. I walked over to Perran this afternoon to see Father. He told me to wait for him. I staid there until nearly ten o'clock and then walked home by myself.
Friday, 5th May. Mother went to Chapel this morning. I did not go. I did not know what to do to keep myself from crying. J.B.W. was here. I was wishing he would go so that I could have my cry out. I believe I cryed while he was here. He wanted to know what was the matter. I wish I had more control over my feelings."
In the morning the Rev. R. Daw preached a very touching sermon on Abraham and the potential sacrifice of Isaac, which sparked Mary Ann to compare her own woes.
"..The dearest idol I have known, help me to tear it from thy throne and worship only thee.......Lord, help me from this time forward to live and act different."
By the afternoon she had recovered enough to accompany her mother and four others to Truro in Hancock's wagonette. Perhaps Nancy felt that some distraction was needed.
"We went up all round the new schools and looked in at the windows. What a nice building. The president of the Wesleyan Conference is going to open the school on Tuesday. We went to St. Mary's Chapel, thought Ebenezer Jenkins, P.W.C. (the President) was going to preach but he did not come. The Rev. Paulin that used to be their minister preached.
Monday, 8th May. Mr Henwood left about dinner time. Mrs Mitchell from Hayle came in just before he left. She walked from Scorrier station this afternoon. Mrs M., Aunt P. and me went over to Barcla Shop to see Mrs Timothy Mullins, the mother of her servant girl. They have got a house, a garden as large as a field, and only pay 52 shillings a year for it."
Aunt Priscilla, her father's sister, was a frequent visitor to Vicarage. She was present when 'Grandma' died. The presence of both Aunt Priscilla and Mrs Mitchell seems to have had a cheering effect.
"Tuesday, 9th May. This morning Mrs Mitchell and me went down to Aunt's and then Aunt P. Mrs M. and me went up to Bawden to see Mrs. Cowling. It is Mrs Gripe's sale today. What lots of people have told me that J.B.W. has bought a bed."
The purchase of the bed was an opportunity not to be missed by the local wags. The bed was not the only purchase J.B.W. made at the sale. On Friday he came along with what may have been a peace offering.
"J.B.W. gave me two very pretty texts. Bought them at Mrs. Gripe's sale. I intend to have them framed to hang up in the middle bedroom."
Mary Ann's Sunday afternoons now were devoted to delivering 'tracts', small religious leaflets, for which the recipients paid a minimal sum, such as a penny - more if they were coloured, hence 'a penny plain, twopence coloured'. She was also having music lessons, presumably piano lessons, once a week from the daughter of a local minister though I never heard that she continued to play in later life. I rather think not, or my mother, who was musical herself, would surely have mentioned it.
On Saturday, 20th May, "Mrs Davey sent up my print dress tonight. I received the dress I had dyed brown tonight." and on Monday she went down to pay Mrs Davey for the dress "and carried down the brown one" probably to be altered as possibly it had shrunk in the dyeing, which often happened.
Some refurbishing of the house was going on as Mary Ann spent Wednesday "mending the paper in the parlour" and on Friday:
"Mother and me have put down a carpet in the parlour that I bought to a sale some time ago. I have trimmed a hat tonight. I gave two shillings for it." Perhaps the hat was trimmed to wear on Sunday, when she had a day out with J.B.W.
"Sunday, 28th May. Miss James and me went away in a trap with J.B.W. We left at 9 o'clock. Miss J. went as far as Lanbrigan with us. We went to Perranwell. We had tea at Mrs Odgers then we went to chapel. J.B.W. preached. I thought I had never heard him preach a better sermon. Genesis 22ch 2vs."
This was the same text the Rev. R. Daw had taken for his 'touching sermon' at the beginning of the month. Had J.B.W. heard how much she admired it and decided to show that he could do as well? He was apparently quite forgiven now for his earlier offence.
"We went to Mrs Trevethan's to dinner. We left the trap at Captn Nancarrow's. We rode down to Perran and put the horse in Mr Hales stable. J.B.W. had the same text this afternoon as he had in the morning. I went up to Mr. Mitchell's to tea. J.B.W. went to Mr Tremewan's I called to Mr. T. for him. We went to Bolingey chapel. Mr. James preached, Genesis 24ch, part 56v. Hinder me not. After service Miss James, me and Mr Williams walked to Perran and then rode home. We waited at J.B.W's while he put the horse and trap at Mr Paul's, then we put Miss James home. Miss Trebilcock carried around my tracts for me." (Paul's was the Inn in the centre of St. Agnes from whence the trap had presumably been hired.)
Next day Hancock's wagonette was in use again to take a party to Gwennap Pit, for many years a focal point of Cornish Methodism. The Pit is an open-air amphitheatre formed by the collapse of old mine workings, and was used by John Wesley in 1762 to preach to the thousands who had come to hear him. Later circular terraces of seats were cut in the grassy banks. Wesley preached there on some 15 occasions, and services are still held at Gwennap.
"Monday, 29th May, 1882. Miss Stephens, Miss Houston, two Miss Daniells, Miss Trebilcock and me went to Gwennap Pit today in Hancock's wagonette. Rev. Marguan preached an eloquent sermon. First of Kings, 6ch 7vs. I went to Uncle's to tea and left again at quarter past five o'clock. Mr. Bennetts left early this morning. We came home in time for the Band of Hope meeting. The room was crowded. It was a very interesting meeting. The Band of Hope choir sung some choice melodies. Mr James, chairman, a recitation of Miss E.Rogers and Miss Harper, Mr C. Richard made a speech and Mr Soley, dialogue by Mr R. Waters and P. Harris, Mr Radcliff and another, a very amusing dialogue, Mr Fred Nichollas, Jim Williams and J.B.W."
Note Mr Bennetts, presumably off to Bolivia, had he been doing some recruiting? And Fred Nichollas, presumably he of the broken jaw. Note also the distinction between Jim Williams and J.B.W. Nowhere in the diaries does she call James Bennetts Williams by his Christian name.
The last day of the month was St. Agnes fair. "The van did not come home until eleven o'clock as it is the first day of the fair" and Mary Ellen came home by it, so it looks as if she had been away. Soon after this Mary Ann writes :
On Sunday, 11th June, in spite of the fact that J.B.W. was there to dinner and tea, she is worrying again about her immortal soul.
"Should I go to heaven or hell if I die as I am living now. These are serious questions. I feel greatly condemned with the life I am living.... What a lot of sermons I have heard in my time. Will they rise up in judgement against me?... I do nothing for the cause of Christ..."
Her depression was not helped by the fact that 'Uncle Dick' (who I have not traced - he may have been a Henwood) was very ill and not expected to recover.
"Monday, 19th June, 1882. Uncle Dick is very weak. He sent for Mr James to pray with him. They don't think he will recover. Tom says he has been praying ever since Saturday. It is time for to seek the Lord. We may not see another day. How are we not more in earnest about our own Salvation and the Salvation of others. I want to have clearer views of heaven."
But by the end of the week there was a distraction (and no further news of Uncle Dick).
"Friday, 23rd June. They are putting up arches today and decorating them up for tomorrow as the new Oddfellows Hall is to be opened tomorrow. M.E. and me have sewed up some of the rosettes for the sashes of the Philantrophic men.
Saturday, 24th. Very many showers during the day. The Oddfellows and Philantrophic men walked together and had dinner in the new Hall. They were looking very nice altogether. They had a band from Penzance. Mother, M.E. and me went to the concert in the evening. The place was full of people. The Band played, and Miss Barrett from Truro and Mr Moore sang. Mr Crosby Smith played the piano."
Sunday, with the morning service taken by the Rev. J. Brewer, a missionary returned after ten years in China, and a 'Love Feast' after the evening service, had her worrying again about her salvation. Mr J. B. Williams was among those who "gave their experiences" and Mary Ann enjoyed the meeting but bemoaned the "foolish talk" after the service when she felt they should be talking about eternal things.
The following week she "paid Miss Vickers this afternoon for the quarter's instruction in music" and we hear no more of it, so perhaps she gave up. The next week her father brought back a Wesleyan hymnbook with tunes from Truro for her, probably as an encouragement to keep up her music.
By Sunday she was worrying again, "If I live as I am living, shall I have a crown at last? If I do, will it be a starless crown?" Perhaps the long, work-free Sabbath left her with too much time for thinking, because the Sunday entries are often very long, compared with the briefer weekday ones. The list of things which were 'not done' by devout Methodist households on Sundays was a long one. No knitting or sewing, no games, no unsuitable reading and no unnecessary housework were allowed to while away the hours. At the end of that week she was deploring her spending habits:
"Saturday, 8th July. Mrs Williams, Mr Joe Williams and me drove into Truro today. I bought a present for Miss Stephens. She is going to be married soon to Mr Ball. What a lot of money on near nothing I spend."
The week after that was filled with picnics, M.E. went to one and so did Nancy, but not Mary Ann, though she appears to have attended the Goonown tea treat. The weather was apparently kinder to the Chapel folk than to the Church as the Church children had to have their tea treat in Mr Hitchin's store room because it rained. Perhaps Dr. Whitley, the lodger, felt Mary Ann was brooding too much and needed something to raise her spirits because, later in the month, he gave her the dog, Twig, as a present and paid the licence fee for him.
Rain again stopped a projected tea in the Chapel grounds to raise money to get the Chapel painted, and it had to be held in the Vestry.
"Mr Reynolds and Rev. M. Cousens gave them £20 each. They got £52 altogether."On Sunday afternoon, 6th August, Mary Ellen took around the tracts and Mary Ann.......rode over to Perran Porth with Mr J.B.W. He preached at Perran, St.John 10ch, 27 and 28 verses. We were home here again by half past 4 o'clock. There was a young man drowned at Perran yesterday, a cousin to the Phillips's that keep the Inn at Perran. Miss Evens gave M.E. her son's likeness. He sent it home for me."
Was that young Evans one of Mary Ann's admirers, now ousted by J.B.W.? The next day, August Bank Holiday Monday, there was a picnic.
"....to Porth Towen with the Rowes, Williams, Mr and Mrs Nanyon, the two Mr Overtons, Mrs Letcher and others. Got on nicely but ate some provisions that belonged to another party. We all got home I believe without an accident. We ought to return thanks to God for sparing us another day."
Brother Tom sometimes accompanied his weekly letter from Bristol with sketches, but although Mary Ann had intended to have one lot framed, she was not a fervent admirer of Tom's art.
"Sunday, 13th August. We had a letter from Tom this morning, and some sketches that he has taken. I suppose we shall have some proper views soon...."
She is more aproving of Miss Stephens's wedding dress.
"Tuesday, 15th August, 1882. Miss R. W. Stephens was married to the Rev. W. Ball this morning in our Chapel by Rev. Kernick and Rev. R. Daw. There was a lot of people there. Miss Stephens was dressed very neat. Her dress and hat were navy blue. No flowers or feathers, dressed like a minister's wife ought."
"Friday, 18th August. I went down to Kate Nicholas this evening and brought home the quilt she has knitted, and wrapped it in a paper parcel. I am going to send it to Mr Solomon tomorrow for him to send it to the Polytechnic. I hope she will get it back alright."
There had been various people staying at the house throughout the month, a Miss Fawcett and her nephew, 'Master Meakin', and Henwood cousins from Ivybridge in Devon, with their two sons, one of whom was ill and went to bed as soon as he arrived. Mary Ann admired the other son very much, "a fine young man. Much taller than his father."
On Saturday 26th, she drove into Truro with the Henwoods and they went down to Falmouth in the steamer.
"....It is a lovely view all the way down but Mrs Henwood was poorly all day."
Then comes the last entry in the diary, with the last few words written on the inside cover of the notebook. If there was any more it has not survived.
"Sunday, 27th August, 1882. They all went to Chapel besides me. Rev. J. Bartley preached. Habbakkuk 3ch and three last verses. I went with tracts. The Rev. Kernick preached this evening. St.John, 3ch, 8 verse. There was an open air service at Peterville after this evening service."
Mary Ann and J.B.W. were married in the Methodist Chapel in St.Agnes on 30th January, 1883, a week after her 22nd birthday. Their first child, Dora Ann, was born on 30th April that year, so it looks rather as though, on one of the preaching expeditions or picnics, the flesh proved stronger than the spirit.
Six months later James Bennetts Williams sailed for Bolivia to seek his fortune in the silver mines, leaving his young wife and new babe for four long years.
Next chapter - JBW - Leaving Europe
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